Bespoke Poetry

I write poems to order, funny poems. I can write serious poems but find that funny poems get more laughs. Poetry for non poets, comedy, laughter and rhymes all at reasonable rates. Commission me to write a poem for you to add to your speech. I'll even coach you how to perfom it for maximum laughter.

Prices are dependent on a number of factors, such as:
Deadline; Want it tomorrow, can do, it'll cost more so plan ahead.
Length; Want a 20 minute epic? OK, but dig deep!
Drafts; The more times you want it re-written bumps the cost up.
Framed; Do you want a presentation copy, handwritten in a frame?

Call me on 07968 756595 to find a cost for your specific requirements. I guarantee to write a funny poem for your speech, especially if you are a best man!

Bespoke Poetry F.A.Q.'s
I'm no good with words, can you help me?
Yes, yes I can. You call me for a chat, tell me how long you want the poem, the names of the happy couple and a few anecdotes and what their likes and dislikes are and I'll do the rest. You pay 50% up front and 50% on completion. The poem can be outrageous, funny, sweet, touching, or all of those things rolled into one, it's up to you. But that's not all...
Call me on 07968 756595 to explain your fears about the forthcoming event

I'm no good at performing, won't that matter?
No it won't because I will coach you and give you advice, I've been performing now for many years and can help you deliver your speech and poem to best effect.  There are a range of options depending on how confident you are feeling about delivering your speech and the poem. But I can listen, advise, offer help on delivering your whole speech or just the funny poem you have commissioned me for. Every poem comes with an audio file I'll record on how the poem should be performed. You can then listen to it as many times as you want.
Call me on 07968 756595 and tell me your fears

Will the poem be unique?
Yes, yes it will. I am not Hallmark Cards, you are commissioning me, a writer, to provide you with a unique piece of writing. I WILL NOT CHEAT YOU. Every poem will contain unique references to your event so have no fear, it's a bespoke, unique and ultimately personal product.
Call me on 07968 756595 to talk to me about a unique poem

So it'll cost a lot of money?
Yes, yes it will you'll probably have to re-mortgage. Ok, no you won't, but prices are much more reasonable thatn you might think. Prices start at £50.00 plus VAT and rise to, well, the sky is the limit. I can tailor the poem to your budget giving you something truly personal and special for any big day such as a wedding, landmark birthday or other family event. This is a really special way for you to show how much you care and it's a very thoughtful present which is totally unique.
Call me on 07968 756595 to chat about budget and costs

Can I read samples?
Yes and no. Yes you can read samples of my work. Click Here but no I won't show you any other bespoke poetry, and that is the guarantee I give all my customers. Your poem is unique, you own copyright and you can do with it what you will. Consider that, I give up all ownership to the reproductions rights and as the product is highly personal and I think it would be in bad taste to show it round like a prize specimen. If you want more samples I have plenty I can email you.
Call me on 07968 756595 to discuss your requirements

You keep talking about weddings do you do poems for other events?
Bespoke poetry for any occasion, why not call me and ask for a quote? Add a special something to your company Christmas speech or end of year round up? I can take any situation, find the humour then give you a poem to suit. Not available in the shops, there you get pre printed, mass produced, non specific poetry, call me for a unique product and a special service.
Call me on 07968 756595 to see if I can help you