Know Your
Drinks

— Methylated Spirits —		— Bacardi and Coke —
If you are drinking this then you probably can't even see this poster, much less read it. If extra strong lager is a heavyweight contender then meths is a syphilitic crack-addicted bareknuckle streetpunk who'll try to shag your mother and your sister up the arse on your father's grave. Drink if you are currently selling copies of "The Big Issue" or shouting obscenities at total strangers from behind your insect infested beard, your ever trusty scabby-dog-on-a-string at your side. Fight factor: Low. Although standing on street corners singing can bring unwanted attention you'll be hospitalized or comatose before it's late enough to upset anyone. Shag factor: The only time you're ever likely to have to wake up in the morning and ask "Who are you?" is when you pass out next to a mirror.		If your girlfriend drinks this then you are a bouncer (so get her to help you with the big words). She dresses in lycra leggings so tight that you can read her lips. Not that you need to as you'll hear them scream "wet and ready" from twenty yards away. You're not subtle, charming, quick (or slow) witted, kind or even popular. But don't worry, you've got cheap aftershave, a great body, and all the personality of cardboard - which is really sexy... if she's drinking Bacardi. Fight Factor: Your role is to start fights and then teach the combatants how wrong fighting is by beating them shitless. Or get your bouncer boyfriend to do it for you. Shag Factor: Guaranteed to get laid but the sex will be about as caring as the Tories, and as sincere as New Labour. Which is just how you like it, you poor pointless slapper.
— Brandy —		— Jack Daniels —
Served in a big fat glass to match your big fat stomach after eating a big fat meal which will hopefully bring on a big fat coronary. An old school Tory MP with tie to match you are used to perks, like totally legitimate tax-free bundles of cash in brown paper envelopes. You sip the brandy whilst perusing the bypass planning application through the local common and it gets paid for by anyone who wants a knighthood, British citizenship, or a seat in the house of Lords. Fight Factor: An MP would never stoop so low*. It's barbaric to hit people. That's why one employs an army. Much more humane to have the little brown buggers shot. Shag Factor: With all that power private secretaries fall at your feet. What a pity you prefer rent boys and call girls. When you cum, it's black and full of maggots. *Published pre Prescott...		Rock icon wannabes declare allegiance to JD by wearing the T-shirt and drinking it by the skip load. Dressed in black leather from top to toe and endlessly comparing Page and Clapton they look more like gimps than hard drinkers. They own a bike which is the cool way of saying "I can't afford a car". Their women are fat, ugly and bearded to complement their own appearance. They like to think of themselves as individuals and dress like all other bikers to prove it. Fight Factor: You think Mad Max is a way of life and not a film. The closest you ever get to anarchy is being disobedient to your mummy whilst out shopping for y-fronts. Shag Factor: You'll thrash away until the wee small hours and make a racket in your bedroom that makes your neighbours complain. Give your wrist a rest and go find a girl, stud.

Maybe not this particular poster but if you like what you see elsewhere on the site and have outlets for this type of student humour product and would like to discuss the possibility of adding these proven designs to your catalogue or rosta of products then please do get in touch to discuss licensing in all formats and on all products.

Companies who've stocked and sold my products: Harrods, Bentalls, WH Smith, Woolworths, New Look, Virgin, Our Price (as was), HMV, and many other independent and regional high street retailers worldwide.

If you have outlets for this type of student humour product and would like to discuss the possibility of adding these proven designs to your catalogue or rosta of products then please do get in touch to discuss licensing in all formats and on all products. For original designs that are guaranteed to scandalise, humorise and polarize then you definitely want to buy, license or stock Takischitt products.