Parents who decide
to stay at home to
look after their children
NCT Article 01
I write articles aimed at Dads
for the NCT Magazine. It's a less than serious look at Fatherhood and I'd hope it balances the
maternal tone. Judge for yourself...
NCT Magazine Article 01 NCT Magazine Article 02 NCT Magazine Article 03
NCT Magazine Article 04 Film Reviewers Guide Article
Funny.co.uk Little Britain
report
Anyone thumbing through the press or flicking through the TV
channels would be forgiven for thinking that everyone is cool, unconventional, wild and errr,
cool. Gorgeous, perma-tanned, lithe, uber- groomed people, usually called something like
Lhyle, or Saylorre confidently sip Champagne in VIP boxes and look on as longer limbed,
thinner, gorgeous people, with even more unpronouncable names like Xsseus and Qristill wear
impractical clothes and stride like pre-teens on stilts down a "runway". As an aside why do
clothes designers look like they have personally shopped at British Heart Foundation? And
celebrity hair stylists look as if the clothes designers did their hair? Builders houses
syndrome I expect...
I digress...
When children feature in this chic, movie star, jet set lifestyle
they are wonderfully co-ordinated, darling little jewels adorning the great and the good.
Beautiful, intelligent little accessories sitting poised and confident in designer styled
houses, or emerging from London townhouses in the latest buggy de-jour, into a waiting car
(probably laid on by some production company or other) to be whisked off with the Nanny to a
waiting jet, private of course dahling and shuttled to wherever their 5 star parents have
managed to assemble the world's press by frolicking semi-naked on an exotic beach with each
other, or for maximum impact, with someone elses parents. All of this is achieved by working
for three minutes a week publicising the latest diet which has spiritually changed their
life. In this modern world you can be a slim, successful, hi-flying, sexy, jet-set parent and
pursue whatever career you care to turn your hand to. I think Madonna has a lot to answer for
and not just ra-ra skirts and mesh tops in the eighties. BTW, Madonna, if you're reading
this, stop wearing the Burberry flat cap you look like an unconvincing extra from Steptoe and
Son.
To be conventional and "normal" in this hi-gloss, digitally
enhanced world is geeky, nerdy, L7 man, something reserved only for authority figures and
your parents. Nights must be late, mornings must be non-existant, music must be played at
I.Q. reducing levels and you must have an annual subscription to The Priory. Rebel, throw off
the shackles of oppressive bosses, "Hang" with your homies, dude, you're no wage slave.
Sunglasses must be grafted onto movie star looks, if you don't have looks to die for then a
fortnight in a Lithuanian clinic, drinking mud and subjecting yourself to treatments which
may contravene the EU Human Rights Act with a little nipping and tucking or a lot of it,
depending if you are in your twenties or not to help rid yourself of any unsightly folds,
creases or wrinkles that unsportingly refuse to respond to botox.
The less-than-Hollywood, work-a-day reality is of course life is not one long round of celebrity
packed film premiers, facelifts and chariddy shag-athons. We need to work, we need to earn, we need
money, we need to bring home the bacon, or indeed, quorn. Unfortunately no one has explained the
economics of the situation to junior, don't bother trying either, they are too busy drinking milk
or dribbling. Whatever your personal situation; married, co-habiting, single or lottery winner,
certain fiscal arrangements need to be addressed and planned for however balanced against that are
the nurturing needs of the new born and in this media saturated world you would be forgiven for
thinking that stay-at-home parents are a decreasing minority and that women really can and do have
it all and men are the equivalent of walking sperm ATM machines with wallets.
Having been privvy to the secret world of parenting for nearly a
year now I am amazed at how many two parent families I have met who have ignored the
have-it-all pan-sexual propaganda and divided their share of responsibilites along gender
lines. Dad goes out to the office to earn and Mum stays at home and does all the work. Not
everyone has this arrangement, but definitely a majority of the couples I have met. It's the
same here at chez Morrison, even though my working hours are unconventional and I can be out
'till 3 or 4 am or away for a few days. Everyday Jemma is maintaining the rhythym of the
household, rather like a watchman, winding the clock keeping it running, maintaining,
overseeing, in charge and I must state publically that without her contribution I could not
have achieved all that I have done.
Would I swap places with Jemma? This is something which Trisha
asked me (sorry for dragging you on there Jem!) and at the time my mouth said, "yes I would",
but my head said "and stop having fun? Babies are boring, cute, but boring".
I now know that I would prefer to stay at home, spending time with Jaya and Jemma is much more fun
than repeating "Right Kerfuffle" over and over to a bunch of moronic drunken idiots at 1 in the
morning in a nightclub in Solihull who have fallen hook, line and sinker for the media saturated
over hyped top-of-the-pops world view.
Babies are not boring, far from it, they are like the best gadget in the world, every day they do
something new, achieve a new milestone, imitate you but look cuter doing it. Being a contributor to
that process, you have a chance to mould, shape and create a human being, now that is truly cool
and you don't need to change the batteries, set it to a Drum and Bass sound track or have a
Burberry account to do any of it.
Would I swap places now? Yes, but like Gordon Brown and the Euro
there would have to be the right economic conditions to do so, but Jemma will still look
better in a dress and makeup than I do...
All original material © 1997-2006 Stuart Morrison and
DS Ltd
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