Communication, Marketing and Online communication specilist

Communication Consultant
Presentation, Confidence and Public Speaking Coaching,
Speech Writing, Website & Marketing Materials Design
Novelty, gift and comedy ideas on demand (and a lookalike!)

Communication consultant comedy material and speeches a specility Communication specilist for business, online website optimisation a specility communication consultant comedy speech writing specilist

Phone - 07968 756595       Skype - stuart.morrison      Email - look@stuartmorrison.com 

 
Stuart Morrison poet and poetry

Poetry

Do you like the news? Current affairs? International events? Well here's a little bit of politics, as Ben Elton may have said when he was funny. Ouch.

Other Poems

Simply add talent
Frankenstein
I wish
The News
Jesus slacker


The News

This is the news, this is the news,
It's not just an expression of my views
What's going on not random stuff
I didn't make it up off the cuff

Here's the news, here's the news
Facts and opinions not reviews
It's all real, the all real deal
Presenters with sex appeal.

Scenes of America going in
Killing for God is not a sin
They're saving those with brown skin
Where to attack? Get a map and a pin.

All new news, all new news,
See the world from another's shoes
A person explodes in Tel Aviv
Foreigners die but some Brits live

Without a word we carry on, we
Don't worry about the next bomb
A model wears a stunning dress
No mention of the planet's mess

A riot on a sink estate
But don't worry it's not your's mate,
The police want to cut street crime
But walking the beat is a waste of time

Not so! The opposition say
It's up to us to save the day
So, cameras glued to every street
Watch Bobbies walk a crime free beat

Peanuts kill more each year,
So do work, stress, fags and beer
No doubt that pot's a pain reliever
Spout that nonsense you're an unbeliever

A man beat and shot his wife today
Cut off his balls and lock him away
The politicians all concur
But no one wants to cause a stir

Mortgages are on the up
But worse, Man U are out the cup
David's hair is different now
He shouldn't have married that dozy cow

The P.M.'s fucked the national pride
But his hairs his own, smile a mile wide
Finally, a survivor of some disaster
And a kitten, who looks like Hitler,

Cue laughter.

The "Make Poetry History" logo featured above is now available on various clothing items:

See my latest fun designs available to buy today from my online shop

If you would like to talk further about any sketches, writing or performances you see then click & contact me or subscribe at the top of the page and receive my newsletter.

All original material © 1997-2006 Stuart Morrison and DS Ltd

TESTIMONIALS

Guest Presenter
Football Focus BBC One

"Very rarely do you come across an actor or presenter that is willing to work hard as Borat [Stuart] did for us. His no fear attitude to approaching people made a very demanding shoot a walk in the park for all those involved. Would not think twice about using or recommending our favourite Kazakhstan reporter again."

SUNIL PATEL
PRODUCER, BBC Sports


Surprise Guest
New BBC Dating Show

"Thanks so much for coming. You were the high point of my day - got it absolutely spot on."

GILL WILSON
PRODUCER, Endemol